I know what I feel, I know the love that is my heart for her. My brain punishes me every time reminding me that we cannot be together. My heart pumps, it is like the beating of a drum in my chest, thump! thump! Love is strong, it punishes my mental and physical, I could talk friendship but it is not as strong. I love my friends, it is different form of love but it’s almost of the same core.
Every time I open my mouth to talk to her, I fathom at the mystic of qualia. In my heart I am clear of what i want to say. My mouth, my tongue, the air I breathe cannot describe what is at heart. This is killing me softly, everything I say is in some ways an abstraction of what is at heart. How can i describe the redness of a rose to another soul?
So there is a clear solution, I like constructing worlds, So I will construct a world where qualia does not seat on me and weigh on me with the weight of an elephant. Our love is so strong that our souls know each other, it is scary and refreshing. The procedure is simple. I just open my heart to her in a series of steps. Once open the bond cannot be closed. I love her so much that I hand her the keys to my hear, it is an exchange I get hers she gets mine. There are complications at first, there has to be a price paid. For hours we twitch in pain as our entropy aligns. We hold hands, I squeeze she squeezes back. My whole focus is on the texture of her hands.
The price has been paid, our hearts are open to each other. I get peaks into her soul, her whole life flashes before my eyes and soon I know, I KNOW her, she knows my thoughts, desires and memories. This is the moment I have been waiting for, I have struggled for ages to express my love to her, now I can. A mixture of tenderness and wildness, I flood my thoughts with all the thoughts of her naked in my arms. She knows I am deflecting and puts on a fight. She can see my soul and every corner of my mind thinks and adores her. Now she knows.
I am sad, there is no more surprises. I know her words before she speaks them, I am disappointed. I have to run far and wide for I feel naked, unprotected and bare. My love for her is better expressed under qualia.